so that wasnt chicken after all
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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