come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
