It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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