Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
