I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize