She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
