Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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