I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
