I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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