Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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