Sponge bath it is.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
