I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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