shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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