Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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