I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
