speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize