hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize