im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize