i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
