eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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