wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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