I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
smell my finger.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
