Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want to make a zoo with you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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