tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
