careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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