Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
