He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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