im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
