My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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