I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
