dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
