the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
