So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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