Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Randomize
