Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
