Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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