i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
