how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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