I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
