are you so shy because you have an std?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
