I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
