fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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