That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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