It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
