HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
