its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
