in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
