I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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