what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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