I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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