I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
lol hangovers are for mortals.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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