I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
