3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
