So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
