I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
