I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
